Thursday, November 25

I want to smell like the world's largest 4WD passenger vehicle

I want Hummer - not the massive, inefficient, penis-enlargement-made-of-steel, 12MPG, fatal-to-pedestrians vehicle that lets every American pretend they're on active service in the Middle East.

Oh no, I want the fragrance. I want to smell like the great big 4WD death machine itself. I want to waft imperceptibly the subliminal pheromonal cues that mark me as a man not to be trifled with, a man who would get 12MPG and crush Daihatsu Charades under my enormous knobbly tires if they got in my way.

...Actually, I think this takes brand extension just one step too far. But if Ian Thorpe can help Giorgio Armani sell a men's fragrance that probably smells of chlorine and terrytowelling that's never quite been allowed to dry, then I suppose it's possible.

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