Thursday, July 13

My terrible secret curse revealed: I am a mutant gadget lover

Medical science has confirmed what I had long believed to be true: I suffer from a genetic predisposition towards a specific form of a cellular enzyme, known as monoamine oxidase A, which leads me to have stronger-than-normal need for new gadgets.

mutant genetics

Yes, it's true: it's genetic and it's therefore not my fault. My wife's attempts to curtail my gadget spending are unfair and unreasonable. I'm a genetic mutant, just like the X-Men, only my special power is burrowing through packing foam, removing cellophane, and jacking-in. Until a cure is found for this terrible disease I must  treat the symptoms as best I can... Where's my credit card?

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